Save Gas ~ Ride A Horse! *Check Out Honest John’s New And Used Horses*

Thelwell Pony


Alright folks, step right up!

I can save you money on gas!

You don’t want to pay $4.69 for gas, no problem.

I have the perfect vehicle for you. Needs no gas, no oil, or even a battery, just a little grass and water will do these animals fine.

Now everyone has different needs, so choose from the following models:

Trail Horse
Your average run around town animal. Has the energy to get where you are going, the brain to find the best way to go, big enough to carry the normal sized American.

The Arabian
Perfect for those who travel long distances in a day and try to multi task while driving. Although the Arabian may not go to your home or office without specific instruction, it WILL go somewhere.

The Draft
Calling all soccer moms. This big guy can carry the whole team, their gear and snacks. Just like the big machines, this guy will require more fuel, and his shoes will be more expensive than the compact model.

The Western Pleasure
The right car for the high end white collar workers. This animal works harder and requires more special knowledge so only the best can figure this out. Be sure to take your cell phone. You won’t be stuck in traffic, you just won’t be getting anywhere fast.

The Parelli
Salesmen, stay at home moms, and high school kids will all enjoy this dream. You can load him down with flapping Wal-mart bags, ask him to walk in places a horse won’t fit, and you can dance with him as you listen to the latest tunes.

The Ranch
The most dependable animal available. He will go where ever you ask him to, at whatever speed is appropriate. You can tie him to the stop sign and he will be there when you get back. Best of all, this model has been specially engineered to be able to go without water for days and stay fat and slick by eating sagebrush and dead prairie grass.


Of course all models are available in base colors (sorrel, bay, black) Special order colors are available (dun, gray, palomino) and for an additional fee, custom paint jobs are also available (overo, tobiano, blanket, leopard).

No horse is sold with a warranty, however maintenance plans are available in the event brakes, steering, or accelerator fail.


Now’s your chance!  Shop early!
Gas prices are going up!

Hurry while supplies last!


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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Very amusing, I’ll take one of each!

  2. “All vehicles come with real horsepower and four-hoof drive!”

    Clever addition, Christina!

  3. now that was fun! My “vehicle” of choice is the pleasure model which came in one of the base colors. Picked it off the lot!

    Thanks for the smile so early in my day.

    Ah-Hah! So you’re the one who got that good looking one “off the lot”!

  4. I love it! Very well described on all “Models” I am always teasing the Doctor I work for that he needs to put a hitchin post up for my horse!
    I had to add you to my “Blog list with snippet” for this one! My friends will love it! I love your page, definatley one of my top favs!

  5. Very funny and right on target too. I’m owned by three of the Trail- and one the Arabian kind. the Arabian wants to go “somehwere” and my (Colorado Rangerbred) trail horses have to tell him where.
    A great laugh in the middle of the day, Thanks!

  6. I think my horse costs me more per month than filling my tank:-) But Maddy would be my vehicle of choice if my work just had a little round pen on site:-)

  7. This is hysterical. We have a dentist up here who is offering a discount to his patients who ride in to their appointments on horseback. On Friday, I think his whole office staff rode to work on horseback and he had pens set up to put the horse in.

  8. Very, very funny. Loved the one where the Arabian will get you somewhere….

    Those flapping grocery bags will get you somewhere FAST on all but the Parelli model.

  9. i like the trail horse because I am a normal sized american because ii weigh 23stone so i must be a skinny american

    i WILL go somewhere

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